Marilyn and Brian's story

“My name is Marilyn and my husband Brian died at the hospice earlier this year. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer about 6 years ago and when we found out it was terminal we made sure we enjoyed the time we had left. Almost every weekend we were at the beach, Brian loved a drive out, he’d laugh and say that the car could drive itself to the beach we used to go that often! We didn’t know how many more trips we would get to go on together. When we got back from a trip to Bournemouth where we had enjoyed the seaside even though Brian needed a wheelchair by then, Brian didn’t feel well and he went into hospital. Due to the Coronavirus pandemic and visiting restrictions we didn’t see him for the whole three weeks he was there. Not being able to see me, our children or grandchildren had such a negative impact on him and he went downhill very quickly, he had given up. We had been married for 48 years and all of a sudden, at a time we needed to be together the most, we were separated.
It was such a relief when he came to the hospice after so long in hospital, Brian needed his family around him and at Dove House we could be together, it was desperately what we all wanted. He was transferred on Christmas Eve and within a few hours myself and our daughter were sat by his bedside. Words cannot express how grateful I am to the hospice for reuniting us. The change in him over the next month was remarkable, he was much happier, started to eat again and when he was able to he would talk to us.
Although Brian had originally wanted to die at home, he was so happy at Dove House in the end that is where he chose to be when the time came. When Brian died I was incredibly thankful that Dove House was there to support me. Without the amazing doctors and fantastic nurses, I don’t know where I would have turned. Losing your husband, no matter what age, is hugely traumatic and no matter how much you know it’s coming nothing can prepare you for the grief you feel. He is still the love of my life, the person I spent 48 years making a life with, my absolute everything.
The days since Brian died have been hard, Father’s Day was very tough for us as a family but knowing that Dove House did everything they could for him and that when he died he was finally in a place he felt happy brings us true comfort. Everyone at the hospice were of such a support to us as a family and I know that we can turn to them to help with our grief, knowing that helps us get through these hard days.”