Stephen & Kevin's Story

Our brother Ian cared for our mum while she was ill and over the years he really struggled with his mental health. It took a toll on him but none of us truly knew how much it was affecting him. After Mum died five years ago I think he felt a bit lost and he seemed to lose his passion for life. He started volunteering to fill the huge hole he had. He gave his time to the Dove House shop next to the hospice and absolutely loved it. It gave him a reason to get up, it filled the time that was once consumed by caring for Mum and it made him happy. He met some wonderful people whom he considered friends. He slowly built himself a little support network.

In September 2023, he received a diagnosis of Acute Myeloid Leukaemia. We had to have so many difficult conversations and after a short stay in hospital, he realised that he wanted to spend his final days at Dove House. One hour and twenty minutes later he was there. He felt close to the friends he had made while volunteering and knew he would be looked after. 
 

While at the hospice I had mentioned to Kevin, our other brother, how lucky he was to have such an amazing room that overlooked the pond in the hospice gardens. It was a glorious day and Ian mentioned to a nurse how he would like to sit outside. She very quickly replied, “Of course you can, we can wheel your bed out.” With that, we were suddenly in the garden and Ian could feel the sun on his face. It was such a special moment and I am so glad he was able to experience it one last time.

One thing that really stood out for us about the care at the hospice was something so simple that made him smile. They would come in and say “What are you having for tea?”. Not “Here is what you are having”. There was so much choice and if he didn’t want that they would make him something else.

The doctors at Dove House couldn’t have been better, it was hard having really tough conversations but they were always honest with us and we appreciated that. When it was near the end they told us not to go home, to stay close to Ian and just be with him. 12 hours later he died, and we are thankful for those last hours together.
Two and a half days after coming to the hospice Ian was at peace, surrounded by the love of Dove House and exactly where he wanted to be.

Everything we have done since he died has been to his wishes including placing a memorial bench in the gardens, donating money we raised, and giving his things to the shop - Dove House was such a special place for him, and in turn for us too.