Carol's story

Nikki was just 44 years old when she was given the devastating news that she had triple negative breast cancer. Only 15% of breast cancer is triple negative which means treatments such as hormone therapy are not suitable. It limited what was available for her. Two months later she was also diagnosed with Leptomeningeal disease which meant the growing cancer had spread from its original site in her body to her cerebrospinal fluid and leptomeninges, meaning the cancer was advanced and very aggressive. She was given just four to six weeks to live. As a family we were in shock. We rallied and booked family trips to London and the Lake District so that we could all be together and make some last memories, especially for Nikki’s three young daughters.

We had an amazing time but Nikki unfortunately had her first seizure while we were away and never made it home after that. Nikki had a stint in hospital and was then referred to Dove House. We were scared, but also felt it would be the right place for her.


It took us a little while to settle into everything but the hospice went above and beyond to make sure we could fulfil so many of Nikki’s wishes. Nikki really wanted to just be able to do the normal things but with four syringe drivers it was really quite difficult. After attempting to use a wheelchair we quickly realised it just wasn’t safe for her. The hospice bought her a specialised wheelchair so that she was able to safely go out and about, something she desperately wanted. We were able to take her to the Car Boot Sale, the hospice’s onsite charity shop and even a trip to Asda which Nikki was really excited about! It might seem something really trivial but it was the normal things that we take for granted that she craved. Our situation had all of a sudden become miles from normal so it was understandable that Nikki wanted some parts to feel like that.

We were able to enjoy little things like going out for gelato and one day we went for brunch, which one of the incredible doctors joined us for to make it possible for Nikki to go. Nikki could even join us for a family gather at her sister’s home one last time which meant the world to us. They are memories that we are able to cherish now that she has gone.

Without the special wheelchair the hospice bought these special moments just wouldn’t have been possible and we wouldn’t have been able to give Nikki the little glimmers of joy that were so desperately needed. It was incredibly hard for us all to see Nikki like that but we would have done anything to make her happy and I am so pleased we were all able to do that for her and her girls.
 

There were so many precious times at Dove House it’s actually hard to put into words how much they meant to us all. Nikki was given relaxing baths, we had picnics in the gardens, fed the fish, had so many family meals together and very much treated the hospice like our home for the entire six weeks. It was exactly what we all needed, we needed to be close and to just be a family for as long as we could. Our worlds changed the day she was given her diagnosis and I don’t think any of us where ready to say goodbye, I don’t think you ever are but we wanted to cherish every last second we could together.

Dove House became our home for as long as we needed it. The staff made us feel comfortable so that we were able to do that, we were even able to stay in the family suites upstairs which gave us the peace of mind we needed to be able to take a little time for ourselves to recharge   knowing we could be back with Nikki in minutes. We always made sure someone was with Nikki but even so it was still hard coming away.


Sometimes the littlest of things can really mean the world to you. The catering team built such an amazing rapport with Nikki. They would run through such a big list of things they could offer and if she had said no to them all they learnt that she would always say yes to a cheese and tomato toastie or a giant slice of arctic roll which was her favourite! They knew how to get round her because they had taken the time to really get to know her and it didn’t go unnoticed. The compassion they gave her will stay with us forever. Just like all of the care everyone gave her.

Nikki’s dog Teddy was able to visit at the hospice too, it was incredible! We would come through the doors and he knew exactly where to go. He too had also come to feel like the hospice was like a home away from home.

We had Nikki’s thumbprints made as keepsakes at the hospice which was really thoughtful gift - it is little things like that that mean so much and are priceless. But that was like everything they did for us, you could really tell that they were always thinking ‘What would Nikki want and what would her family want.’


When Nikki died our world fell apart even more than it already had, but Dove House was so respectful. They gave us time to say goodbye properly. We are slowly trying to piece our lives together, but in a world without Nikki here it feels very hard.

We feel so privileged that she got to come to Dove House and that was how the end played out for us. We are extremely grateful that we made such wonderful memories at hospice in her final weeks that we can hold onto as we grieve her.


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