Jane & Lynn's story 

Our dad, Paddy, lost a lot of weight, started feeling unwell with fatigue, chest problems and shortness of breath. He thought it was just a chest infection, but after a visit to the clinic he was told it was lung cancer, already quite extensive, and it had also spread to his liver. What’s so hard to believe is that he walked into that appointment, and just a few days later he struggled to walk to and from the dining table. He went downhill so quickly, and at the time, we didn’t fully realise what was happening.

His prognosis hadn’t really been explained to him, and the rapid increase in his symptoms along with his decline led to us having to tell him he was dying. I think that moment was as hard as him actually dying.
As he became more unwell, Dad could no longer take care of the things he loved, like his allotment. But he still insisted on getting up and dressed every day, trying to hold onto some kind of routine. At home, things were difficult as he was also a carer for his partner, Kate, who had had a stroke. He struggled to take his medication, so we would go over after work to help him.

It quickly became clear he didn’t have many days left, and we knew he needed to be somewhere he could be cared for around the clock. My sister and I were frightened by how quickly Dad was deteriorating. That’s when Dad, with the support of us, made the decision to go to Dove House.

We didn’t know what to expect, but as soon as we walked through the doors, it felt like a weight had been lifted. It was like the hospice gave us a hug just when we needed it most. Dad looked so comfortable and we knew he was in the best place to meet his needs.

The care he received was phenomenal. He was showered, shaved, and dressed in clean, fresh pyjamas, he was given his dignity and pride back. One moment that will always stay with us is when Kate came to visit. The hospice team had Dad ready in his bed waiting for her and as she arrived in her wheelchair, they were both reaching out for each other, it was the sweetest thing to witness.

The doctor was wonderful at communicating everything with us, she made us feel comfortable enough to ask questions and gave us a safe space to do so. The staff were always honest, and that helped so much. Because everything had happened so quickly, we hadn’t spoken about what Dad wanted after he died, while we were discussing it, he suddenly spoke, he must have been listening! Knowing his wishes gave us the peace of mind that we could get things right for him.

The hospice felt welcoming for everyone, including all of Dad’s grandchildren. One of them brought in a painting she had done, and it meant so much to have those personal touches around him. The gardens and fishpond were beautiful, somewhere you could step away for a moment, get some air, and gather your thoughts. Having that space was instrumental during our time there. The facilities were amazing, and the nurses were so kind. It was all the little things they did that reassured both him and us.

One of the Physiotherapists worked with Dad to help him stay as comfortable as possible, finding different positions for him, as he was never one for sitting still. As Dad became more agitated, the hospice responded quickly and calmly as this was so distressing to see. When it got closer to the end, they gently suggested we go home and get some things so we could stay with him.

The last time we saw our dad smile was at Dove House, and it’s a moment we will always hold onto. Even though he was so poorly, they made him comfortable enough to smile. We were all sitting around his bed, listening to some 80s music, an Alexa had been put in his room so it didn’t feel so quiet while he slept.
Dad was a Hull Kingston Rovers supporter since he was young and was at Wembley on 3rd May 1980 to witness Rovers lift the Challenge Cup. Sadly, he was too ill to go to Wembley in 2025; he watched it on TV at home and was ecstatic that we had finally won it again. It was so great that we were able to arrange for the Challenge Cup to visit him at the hospice on his final day with us.

When Dad died, we were with him. I stepped out to get a nurse, and it was such a comfort knowing they were right there. In those moments, their presence, and even the hugs they gave us, made an unbearable time just a little easier.

I will always sing the hospice’s praises. They went above and beyond for us as a family. Watching someone you love fade away is incredibly hard but knowing they were there meant we didn’t have to panic, we felt supported every step of the way.

Even after Dad died, the care didn’t stop. They gave us as much time as we wanted to sit with him. They were respectful not only to Dad, but to all of us, following our lead and allowing us to say goodbye in our own way. The thoughtful touch of sending him on to the next part of his journey with a beautiful single rose will stay with us and my sister forever.

We are proud that Dad’s journey at the end of his life was as comfortable as it could be. Being able to give him that was a gift, and we will be forever grateful.