Ian's story

My wife Susan and I spent 34 wonderful years together. She was my world. We built such an incredible life together filled with special moments and beautiful holidays.

When she started to feel unwell in July 2022, I was worried, but we were told she had fibroids. She was later diagnosed with ovarian cancer which led to her having a full hysterectomy. Unfortunately, the cancer had spread, and it was a downhill slide from there. After lots of treatment, I was caring for her at home, she was my wife, and it was a privilege to care for her. She had a bed in the conservatory, and I slept on the sofa near her. I just wanted to be close to her.

Susan had a short time in hospital and came home for a week before coming to Dove House as she needed round the clock care. She was happy to come to Dove House, but I cried. I was worried what it meant for her; what it meant for us. It felt like I was admitting that the end was coming.

Susan had been a Senior Nurse, which I was incredibly proud of. So, when she came to the hospice it was nice to see a familiar face she had previously worked with. The doctors and nurses were all really lovely. They made her smile which was nice to see. One thing that really stood out for me was that it didn’t matter what their position was everyone gets stuck in. There were senior nurses bringing you toast or a doctor making you a cuppa, you wouldn’t find that in other places.

I didn’t believe in angels until we came to Dove House but everyone at the hospice really was incredible.
When we moved to a single room over Christmas, we had lots of privacy which was really nice. I stayed in the family suites at the hospice so that I could always be close to Susan, it gave me such piece of mind. I still spent most of my time by Susan’s bedside, but I was able to leave her to sleep and then go back. I just wanted to be near her and Dove House made sure that I could be.

Susan died at Dove House just after Christmas with me by her side. My whole life changed. I went home to a dark house that just felt empty. Since then, I have started sessions with the Family Support Team and these have really helped. I can offload which is sometimes just what I need.

I have also been attending the hospice’s Bereavement group, Welcome Wednesdays, and I have met some wonderful people who have all been through their own bereavement in some way. The group is really supportive, and I have made some great friends who have me doing all sorts of activities outside of the group too. Which I really enjoy, it keeps me busy too.