Yufen & Lucas's story 

My husband Andy was diagnosed with bowel cancer when he was 54. It was a struggle every day from then on and the fear of losing him clouded over our family.

Andy was too worried to come to the hospice. He was scared. He didn’t want to accept that he needed hospice care but we needed it. My son Lucas, who was 8 years old, and I went to Dove House and took photos and wrote down what it was like for him to help alleviate the worries he had and so that he could mentally prepare himself for the next chapter in his journey, in our journey. As a healthy person walking into the hospice was very different to how it must feel for a person who is living with a life limiting illness or someone at the end of their life like Andy. I was very aware of that and even I was scared and felt sad. I was worried as a wife, but also as a mother. I sat in the car for quite a while before I had the courage to go in, but I am glad I did. The photos and additional information really helped Andy process everything and showed him what it was really like behind the doors. Being able to tell him about it really helped him build a better picture in his mind of what the hospice was really like.

We had so many questions running through our minds like “how long did he have left?” and “would this be his final place?”
Andy made the brave decision to overcome his fears and was admitted to Dove House. It felt scary and sad but then once he was at the hospice he was really happy. All his fears quickly evaporated.

Andy felt so settled at the hospice that he actually didn’t want to be anywhere else, what a turnaround from how anxious he was about it initially!

Everyone at the hospice was very caring, thoughtful and helpful. They all tried their best to make him feel comfortable.

The staff were incredible and lovely with Lucas. They attuned to what we all needed, sometimes before we even knew ourselves. I honestly don’t know how they do it. They always have such warm and friendly smiles on their faces despite supporting patients and families who are coping with so much. Their personalities fit the role they play at the hospice perfectly.

Andy and Lucas loved music; it was a passion they both shared. Andy played the guitar, and Lucas plays clarinet. Lucas had planned to push his dad in a wheelchair out into the lovely hospice gardens and play music for him but unfortunately, he wasn’t able to before he died. It is a lovely thought that still brings us comfort. Day in, day out everyone was incredible during the two weeks Andy was at the hospice.

Lucas was very upset and angry at the beginning after his dad died. We accessed the Children’s Bereavement service at the hospice, and they have done a brilliant job in supporting him. They have helped him understand the whole situation better, Lucas is now a much happier boy and is able to share his feelings more.