Marion's Volunteering Story - My husband Bob

My husband Bob was diagnosed with hemochromatosis, a disorder in which extra iron builds up in the body to a harmful level. After caring for him at home for four years I needed help so I reached out to our local hospice, Dove House.

Dove House looked after us as a family. From the moment we walked through the doors for respite care they wrapped their arms around both of us.
All the nurses and doctors took the time to get to know Bob’s cheeky nature. They learned that he had been in the army, that he was an incredible chef and was best being kept busy. He loved to feel needed and useful and so the team always found something for him to do. Due to his love of working in the kitchens, he would help make up the menus for the month for the patients and staff.

The hospice became like a second home for us, I don’t know how we would have coped if we hadn’t turned to them for help. They made me feel supported and that no matter what we needed it was never too much trouble.

Towards the end of Bob’s life, we were only at Dove House for a couple of days but because of the support we had received up until that point, it wasn’t scary. Despite the pandemic, they allowed me to stay with him and be by his side to the very end.
Since Bob died, I have become a volunteer in the Dove House kitchen and their cafe Dulcie’s to continue his legacy. Everyone has been really welcoming. I know Bob will be looking down on me and would be really proud even though he would be telling me I was doing it wrong (he was very strict in the kitchen)! Everyone has such fond memories of him and I want to continue those as a tribute. Volunteering has helped me through a really sad time in my life, it’s not just about me helping the hospice.

I know it might seem silly but I feel closer to my husband being at Dove House. I am not just able to talk about him here, it is actively encouraged. I don’t have to hide my grief, I can just be me.

Volunteering is my way of giving something back. I can never repay the extraordinary care we received but I know I am playing my part to help other families like mine.

Families come into Dulcie’s after visiting their loved ones like I once did. I can relate to their feelings, and I like to think I am helping them feel a little better at such a hard time in their lives.

I think one thing I took away from my time at Dove House as a patient’s relative was that tomorrow is never promised. There were so many things still left on our list to do together and suddenly he is gone and there’s just me. With the help of Dove House, I hope to do things we didn’t get to do. I don’t know what’s around the corner for me but I know I don’t want to miss a second.

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